Monday, January 18, 2010

We don't need no stinking badges....Humor from Afghanistan

The Following Blog is from my Guest Blogger:

My Husband, His humor from Afghanistan I feel is just to funny not to Share ,,,

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

..So there we were...all of us “newbees” getting our official Local Badges. This badge shows everybody that I am licensed, authorized and dangerous to carry firearms that I have been adequately trained to operate and shoot....of course the key word “adequately” was a bit of a downer...instead of just Glock 19 and M4 Assault Rifle...I thought it would be nice to have something like BAZOOKA or VIKING BATTLE AXE on my badge..no such luck......there doesn't seem to be enough space on the badge for extra stuff...oh darn

The five of us are at the Embassy and a very busy lady is trying to get us through the process as quickly as possible...(I think it was time for lunch)....of course this badge will have our photo place upon it for proper identification at all times.....as each person stepped in front of the sheet to get his picture taken...I remember my Wife telling me about my “MEAN LOOK”....she claims it is pretty convincing...of course I have never seen this look since I'm usually not close to a mirror during the display of the “MEAN LOOK”.....now I am in unchartered territory...because I need that look on the badge...I must have it!

Before you can whistle Dixie...(Can't whistle so not sure how long that would take...stop laughing!)...it is now my turn for the photo shoot... I imagine what my “MEAN LOOK” must be and the busy lady begins to count...one two click and I blink!!......

The busy lady disappears for a short time and then comes back out with all the photos for us to proof...I thought I had heard some giggling behind the door but then maybe it was my imagination.....then I saw my picture....of course my eyes are closed and instead of a grimace...it was more like a twisted Joker from Batman smile....no kidding...I looked like an Elmer Fudd Look-A-Like Cartoon Character...all I needed was a special bus...geesh!

She says..”oh sir..we must retake this....this will not do...this is unacceptable...this is.....” ALRIGHT ALREADY!!...I get the hint...

Now I am really concentrating to keep my eyes open because it really is time for chow....Click...

“oh sir...much better”.......I take the badge and off to chow we go....I get my meat from a Newt Hindquarter and commence to eat.....”hey Elmer let me see your pic”...I proudly show my badge...he then commences to cough up a lung and passes around my badge to the other insensitive louts...you see...I just took the badge never really gave it a close look...sigh...imagine Curly Joe from the Three Stooges eating a hot tomale....or Grandpa from the Munsters getting his over 50 exam...now you have some idea of my facial expression in the photo...as if that isn't bad enough.....on the badge they filled the entire space with my head....the light is coming from behind so my head actually looks like an eclipse of...oh I don't know...Mars maybe!!.....I honestly believe I could cause young children to pee on themselves with this photo....or cure the hiccups...yikes!

To say I looked deranged would be extremely flattering.......but lets look at the bright side...I probably will never have to fire my weapon in anger...instead...I'll just show my badge....that should do the trick!!


Signing off for now....Badgeman

Stay Tuned: Next Blog: "Don't touch that Valve"

4 comments:

The Flying Pinto said...

funny stuff! I would love to see the 1st and 2nd pic!

Brajit said...

Oh, Mr. UpUpnAAway, you just crack me up! You have got to find a scanner and just share this picture with the rest of the world, because I can only imagine, and I feel like you do look like Curly at the one time I've met you!

calidreaminp said...

Great!!! This was too funny! We need pics!

Brit said...

Oh my! That's hillllarious!

About Me

My photo
Fort Worth, Texas, United States