Ghurka Meter

Memorial Day is upon us again & I'm honored to add to my blog today, Words from my better half in Kabul, Afghanistan!!

Honey, You are my HERO, I adore you.....Hurry Home~

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I love my guys from Nepal…….but…….they are definitely different from us (expats)…..just go in the mess hall…you will see what I mean…I don’t mind eating by myself…I actually prefer it….its my quiet time..so I find a table way in the back….there is a bookshelf about five feet tall behind it…and that is where I sit…ahhh….peace and quiet……then it happens……“Meester meester…why u heer….you no freends“….”No really…I’m fine!”

“Weee come seet wid you….okay!!”….”Really guys…I’m alright!!”……I now have thirteen Ghurkas sitting next to me at a table designed for eight…..its very cozy…sigh…..they all practice their english on me…..they think they are speaking english…I have no idea what they are saying…I just nod a lot…

I pray for night shift..here is why…during the day at my outside posts…..I am surrounded by Ghurkas…..I have one off to my left…about 20 feet away…..I have one behind me..he’s 50 feet away…and let’s not forget the one to the right…about 30 feet away…

Now this wouldn’t be a problem except…you guessed it….they want to talk…..and after speaking with me for five minutes…I’m exhausted….they then talk with each other….I now have Ghurka stereo for the next hour and ten minutes….yahhhhh!!!
Now these are the same guys that were on break together during the last rotation…I can only imagine what they’re saying….”So Nishka…..have you heard from your family back in Nepal…I mean since we last talked ten minutes ago….noo….that is too bad…..Ghangi…I am looking forward to my curry baloney sandwich for lunch….I will trade you my sandwich for your unrecognizable cabbage hotdog and a pound of rice…..

“Kinko…….I am looking forward to sitting with the poor American who has no friends….the one with no hair and big head…yes..he is very ugly…….he must be very saaad…maybe tonight we can get 18 Ghurka at the table instead of 13...this will make him very happy…I think!!

As I sit stand there at my post…putting in my earplugs….I think we should do an experiment….here’s my plan……each hour slowly move the Ghurka post farther from each other….you know …lets say ten feet…..initially what would happen is my Ghurkas would just talk louder….and louder…..now shouting…then there would be beautiful silence…..I’m thinking 100 feet will do the trick…

This is about the same range I can throw a grenade or shoot my pistol accurately (unlike my better half….I am a lousy shot with my pistol…that is why I figure they give me three magazines)….so now you see the importance of my findings….right…okay let me explain…my Ghurka meter is like having my own range finder….I now know the range to engage the bad guys or make myself another cup of coffee…

I going to the boss with my thesis…..maybe I’ll get a coin…..like Billy….and all he did was detain the wrong guy who happened to look a lot like a terrorist…..loser!
until then…

stereo boy signing off….