Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly!

No, I'm not talking about a Clint Eastwood movie, I'm talking about Flights, Airline Flights & the stories that Flight Attendants tell ... Now, keep in mind these stores are not made up, They are based on facts... On almost a daily basis some of the strangest things can happen on a flight at any given moment... Some are good, Some are bad & some are just down right Ugly!

Flight Attendants love to tell their stores, usually to other Flight Attendants because we can relate and get an even bigger laugh I mean what else are we going to do on the jump seat... Somethings only flight attendants can find humor hearing a chime and looking at the ceiling, Even if they are not on a plane ..Only another flight attendant can laugh at that. Sort of like Pavlov's rule, we are programmed like that:
Hear a chime & look up..

I was working a flight a few years back, when we had FOOD... We pulled the cart up and started our service at the bulk head in coach, I get to the second row, set down the snack box on each tray table, asked for beverage preference...The gentleman at the window asks for a hot tea, it is easier now to go to the business class galley to get the hot water, rather than all the way back to the coach galley, So off I go, when I return, the passenger in the isle she asks me for a hot tea as well, I turn on my heels and more hot water I get, I return ... when she informs me I didn't give her a snack box, Now I know I did!! I look at the passenger at the window holding his box, I ask didn't I set both boxes down, He says,, "yes you did" and then does the "She is crazy" in sign language ..ya know the index finger going round in circles pointing at his temple.... Ahhhhhhh, now I'm with you..... as he informs me in a bold voice .. I AM NOT WITH HER! I get a few rows down and the flight attendant call light goes off, Guess which seat it is? I go up to her seat & inquire,, "Yes Ma'am what can I do for you",,, She informs me I didn't give her a drink... "Ma'am I gave you a hot tea, do you want something else?"
She swears up and down I missed her, Ok... Let's keep it simple, I missed her,, It has been a long day, It would not be the first time I had missed an entire row or even a passenger, I'm only human right?

What would you like to drink Ma'am?...
What do you have................she asks! (EYE ROLL)

We have Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi,Sprite, Diet Sprite,
"I'll have a coke",,

I'm not done..

I want her to have the entire menu,,,, Dr Pepper, Diet Dr Pepper, Cranberry apple juice, orange juice, tomato juice,,,

I hand her a cup of ice & a coke.... and quickly retreat..

We finish the rest of coach and start with the trash pick up, I get to her row...I pick up all of her trash, (From both snack boxes) and move out quickly... 15 minutes later "BOING".....
( I look at the ceiling) Her call light goes off, I look at another Flight Attendant and say it is your turn....She became very busy! Off I go, When Ms. Isle Passenger informs me I DIDN'T GIVE HER ... HER COKE..... I walk to the business class galley, got a glass of water, set it on her tray table ... She looks at me and she said ,, "I didn't ask for that",,, I said "Yes, you did, Don't you remember ? You said you had to take your medicine?"

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Fort Worth, Texas, United States